Animal Crossing is a series that’s all about a happy, stress-free life. Sitting back and relaxing in the town of friendly faces, enjoying what each day brings. While there might be moments of mayhem, you could never confuse them as the main attraction. But what if they were? What if the villagers decided one day to pursue some motorised mayhem by turning their town into a racetrack?

Yes, yes, we already have a track in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, but I’m thinking bigger. I’m thinking of an Animal Crossing kart racer, one that can differentiate itself from Mario Kart the only way Animal Crossing can. Money. You think I’m joking? Oh, no. This really is Capitalism: The Kart Racer, and the core mechanics behind this concept of mine should show you why.

Think of the speed stat in Mario Kart. The higher the bar, the higher the top speed when in a race. Coins will increase that top speed to a maximum of two extra bars. Now, what if top speed was handled purely through the transaction of money? Whereby, instead of the vehicle determining the stats with a bit of an additional boost, the coins were the sole method of increasing top speed?

With this concept of mine, there would be seven tiers of speed. Each tier is represented by 200 bells up to a maximum of 1400. At the start of each race, all racers would have 500 bells to start with. Throughout the race, tools would be used to steal bells from other players or gain them through other means. Tools being the name that items are given. This is Animal Crossing, after all. Those nets, fishing rods, and axes can easily take on a different form with action-based gameplay.

The one thing to note is that since these tools do nothing but steal bells from other racers, there are no spinouts and no immediate negative effect of being hit. Though you will still have visual and audio cues alert you to a hit. What that means is you are always moving, always able to retaliate with your own tools. The amount that gets stolen per tool is fair, meaning you will never drop more than one tier when bells are stolen from you.

Except in a certain circumstance, but I’ll get to that in a bit. All these tools have different effects suited to what they are. A fishing rod will lock onto the nearest racer when used, with the line stealing 50 bells per second from that racer up to a maximum of 250. That line can be broken by distance, so if the other racer increases that distance before those five seconds are up, you’ll have to make do with what you took.

The slingshot is the most obvious tool-based weapon, with three shots to fire forward that steals 100 bells per hit. The hammer slams down onto the ground, creating a shockwave that hits all nearby racers, taking 50 bells per racer hit. The watering can is thrown forward, growing a random pattern of flowers on the track that each holds 50 bells. For those who fall behind, there are tools that will grant a boost.

The timer will randomly set itself to 5, 10, or 15 seconds. During that time, the racer who used it will have the maximum allowed bells for that time. Bells which cannot be stolen. Which is just as well when the shopping card hunts for the racer with the highest total of bells. That racer will then have 500 stolen from them, which makes the shopping card similar to the blue shell in targeting the most well-off racer.

The tools that get granted are different based on which tier a racer is within, meaning those with fewer bells will get the likes of the megaphone, timer, and shopping card, while those with higher totals find themselves with the light stick, net, and watering can. While the tools are granted via floating leaves, it is possible to get a tool whenever you’d like by pressing the use tool button to spend 50 bells.

So, as I say, Capitalism: The Kart Racer. But a kart racer isn’t complete without its tracks. You might be thinking here how the tracks can possibly be varied enough to fill a game. To a certain extent, there’s not going to be the variety that is seen with Mario Kart or other kart racers. Every single track will be based at the town. Or at least, the five towns. Each Animal Crossing game has something unique to offer, after all, so that’s not going to waste.

So, five games and four seasons equals a total of twenty tracks. Animal Crossing has many festivities across the four seasons, and it is these festivities and the season they take place that will give each track its theme. Each game also wouldn’t be represented four times by the same town layout. The lay of the land, the rivers running through it, positions of buildings… There would always be uniqueness in where these things are found.

The scale of these towns would also be different to how they appear in the games. They would be larger, allowing for track layouts that wouldn’t be simple and short. All decorations, buildings and landmarks would be accurately scaled to the size of the racers. Not fully, but enough so that everything wouldn’t tower over them. For the sake of theming the tracks, each will be decorated beyond what the games would normally do.

The Sports Fair, for example, would see the events that would take place set up around the town rather than all being at the wishing well, with other sports not featured in the Gamecube game also being represented. For those that wouldn’t usually see much decoration around the town, such as Valentine’s Day, there would be a lot of themed items placed around so the race feels like it is taking place during that event.

One more thing to talk about is the progression of the game. With just twenty tracks, it is going to feel a short one if this was just a linear run of all the tracks. It’s not. Instead, each character that is a playable racer, of which there will be twenty, will have three sets of four races to complete. By completing each set, you gain a customisation part based on one of the item sets of the Animal Crossing series. The customisation of the kart comes in body, spoiler, and wheel variety. It is all purely visual.

As for who those characters are, ten will be regular villagers (non-human ones) while the other ten will be special characters. Five from each will be available at the start. The remaining characters will unlock upon completing all three of their racing sets. I’m not going to say who I’d put in the game, as I know everyone has their favourites. I’ll let you all have your own ideas on character picks. Considering everyone loves Raymond, I have a feeling he’d be in all those lists. Right?

Images Taken From:
Animal Crossing: New Horizons | Original Screenshots
Animal Crossing: City Folk/Gallery | Nookipedia