I’d seen this one in action previously, though hadn’t played it myself. I thought it looked an interesting game, but wasn’t exactly ready to take a punt on it. That changed with it appearing as part of the Jingle Jam Games Collection, as it meant I had no reason to avoid playing it myself. Well, until I found out You Suck At Parking was also on Game Pass, so could have been playing before the Jingle Jam. Rather than use up the code from the Collection, I just played it on Game Pass.

You Suck At Parking is a puzzle game with a simple premise. Get to the parking spaces. But this isn’t a simple road network, where parking is a piece of pie. Oh, no. There’s a fight ahead of anyone who tries. Maybe not to start, but the levels soon get technical. The grasslands is the training ground, where the game introduces the variations of traps it has to offer. Heated fences, wind flows, magnets, police chases… There’s a lot to be aware of, and at least for the first few levels, I was finding it easy enough to get each perfected.

But this is a puzzle game, so of course it was going to ramp up the difficulty. It’s perfectly possible to just complete a level with all parking spots hit no matter how many cars you have used up. But to perfect it, you need to only use as many cars as there are parking spaces. So naturally my stubborn self wanted to perfect every one. Which is where the frustration comes and the “I can do this” mentality kicks in. Because when I have to be aware of so many things, and make a mistake over something trivial, I want to prove to myself that I can overcome it. Then repeat, repeat, repeat until success.

In terms of the gameplay loop, you have the fuel meter, which is pretty much a timer. As soon as the vehicle moves, that fuel meter starts counting down. Once it’s empty, there’s no more accelerating. Most of the time this is generous, but sometimes the level revolves around a limited amount of fuel. If the car comes to a complete stop, that counts as parked. Even if not in a space. And if it’s not in a space, that cannot count as a perfect run.

The level timer dictates how long a level will last for, with parking in a space giving extra time depending on the distance it is from the start point. Again, usually generous, but some levels will make use of a limited amount for extra challenge. I didn’t really notice it as much as the fuel timer, as when going for a perfect run, the level’s being restarted so many times it doesn’t get any chance to hit zero. Completing levels normally will give a pink completion stamp per space parked in, while a perfect run turns them gold.

Both operate together in progression. Both types are counted, with a set number of pink ones opening up new areas full of levels while the gold will open up mastery areas. These are where frustrations will run high, with a lot more precision needed to perfect them. Regular completion can also be tough with them, hence being locked behind perfecting the regular levels.

The car being used can be customised with colour, decals, head ornament and horns, with more being unlocked through the experience earned from completing the levels. And competing in multiplayer. The online matches operate slightly differently to the solo puzzle levels. For one, there’s more spaces on each of the maps. Where it would be rare to find over four spaces in solo play, online’s common number is nine. There’s still some obstacle avoiding to be doing on the way to the spaces, but that challenge is lessened somewhat.

After all, it would be frustrating to line up for a tricky section only to have someone knock into the car upon an attempt. With the online mode, players compete to reach all the parking spaces first across four rounds. Points are awarded depending on how well each player has done, with the highest total after the four rounds being crowned the winner. I’ve had a lot more fun here, as there’s not a massive amount of stress involved in completing each of the rounds. The perfect cool off after a solo session, then.

For me, this has been a great one. I always love some puzzle action, and with it being in vehicles doing over the top stunts, I’ve been laughing at some of the mistakes I’ve made. At some of the randomness that can happen. I certainly want to continue on and reach the other two biomes to see what traps they have in store for me, though perhaps I need to lose the stubbornness of wanting to perfect everything before moving on.

To get this game and over 80 more, head on over to the Jingle Jam Tiltify page and give £35 to charity. It is a very generous value for giving a little to help the 12 charities that are part of this year’s Jingle Jam, with the Collection’s original value being over £1000. The Jingle Jam ends at 23:00 GMT on the 14th, so go contribute to make people who rely on these charititable causes – and yourself – happy this Christmas.

Images Taken From:
You Suck At Parking | Original Screenshots